A Valentines Day Special, Brazil
by Kalen Bloodstone
Summary: COMPLETE... One-shot: In the intoxicating Country of Brazil, Artemis is faced with a challenge like none other. No, not to save the world again; To repatch his relationship. - Rated: T, Writer of Artemis F./Inheritance Cycle/Kate Daniels fandoms
1. Part One

**A Valentines Day Special, Brazil**

**_~ Part One ~_  
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~ I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ~ Author Unknown ~

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Gazing across the pavilion, Artemis again thought upon the reason he was here. "Here," was Brazil. An exotic Country, it was indeed, and yet it used to be a main gang city, where vandals walked the streets, fearing nothing and no one. It had changed though, over the past twenty to twenty-five years, it had changed drastically.

_Pão de Queijo_, or cheese buns to those less educated, occupied his plait; along with a favorite -_Feijoada_, steaming.

Mango juice sat melting into the ice which filled a tumbler to Artemis's left.

He had to remember what he had come for. To take his date out on a - well, a date.

Her hair had recently been dyed a shade of coal black and was ironed flat and casually thrown up into a ponytail -unlike her regular wavy curls. A few rebellious strands shadowed her left eye; giving her an exotic aura. She was ready for an adventure with her love.

She was dressed in a Prada dress, specially commissioned. Its seams were marked in black thread, her dress displaying an arctic scene, V neck cut, with frills at the bottom. A silk sash, reflective, rested with ease on her hip; accenting the scarab necklace with its pure jade wings inset in glass that rested daintily on her chest. Her earrings, black onyx, rested in a sterling silver frame, draped down in teardrop fashion.

Her order, was much like Artemis's, with the exception of the _Coxinha _added to the menu.

"So, my Hunter, what are the plans for the evening?" Minerva announced, as her mango juice was refilled by a waiter. Artemis's pride never faltered when he was addressed as "Hunter."

"Well, I was planning on playing a good old game of chess by the poolside. Thereafter, Butler will rush everyone off the roof for a candle light dinner."

Her eyes, seamed to glaze over, her attitude rising.

"Lets not, yes we're intellectuals, but I want to explore the world. And not just through books. You can learn so much from actual experience. So, I advise we explore the immense Amazon? I'll use the machete?"

Artemis, taken aback, let his fork stop mid air, the contents eventually dropped to his shirt.

"Alright . . ." he stammered, surprised and slightly intimidated. Then he remembered it didn't matter if he couldn't swing a machete, he truly didn't care. "Alright, though we will hire a guide?"

"Alright, let's finish up fast," Minerva, half answered, and half replied, glee shined through her miraculous eyes. "Lets head to the hotel first; we'll change and set out machete in hand?"

After enjoying tapioca pudding, with lots of cinnamon, they exited the restaurant, the noontime sun lighting up the world. The heat, was almost 103 degrees, and Artemis would be happy to get out of his Armani and into a dress shirt.

He was greatly disappointed.

After arriving via cab at their Hotel, Minerva and her Hunter swept to their suite, to find a friendly reunion.

Juliet, dressed in an ao dai, a Vietnamese dress, half tunic and half dress, greeted them, with a knife to the throat.

"Juliet?" questioned Artemis, trying to stay calm.

"Sorry, Arty." Strapping her knife back into its case, hidden beneath her cuff, Juliet went back to the TV. "I hate Brazil; it sets my nerves on edge. It doesn't help when Jamie's somewhere without me." Artemis, knew of who Juliet was speaking of; Jamie Hlord. New Zealander and doctors aid, as well as Juliet's boyfriend. Another plait occupied space on the comforter of the King sized bed.

As if by command, Butler swept from the bathroom, towel securely fastened to his waist and his famed SIG Saurer in hand.

"Artemis . . . Only Artemis." He gasped.

"Yes. Only me, old friend." Artemis replied, slightly startled.

Minerva, nearly ran to her side of the suite, and after drawing from her suitcase a loose fitting shirt and riding shorts, quickly searched through a second suitcase. Artemis threw off his Armani suit jacket, and quickly threw on a fresh white dress shirt.

Minerva entered with a shopping bag in hand, and tossed it to Artemis. Artemis, like the athlete he was, hadn't catched the bag, and retrieving the bag from the ground, Artemis dumped the contents, nearly weightless, onto the bed.

"Change, you promised your _mum_." She demanded, wrapping a scarf around her neck. Her shirt, smooth silk and flowing, caressed her form like none-other, white, it drenched out almost everything out of Artemis's mind. An achievement of epic proportions.

"Yes." Artemis replied, and scooping up the clothes he still hadn't identified as jeans and t-shirt.

He quickly dawned them, realization slowly hit; he was wearing jeans . . . again. After Artemis exited, Minerva quickly latched a necklace to his pale neck before he could protest further.

"Verdict?" she questioned Juliet. Artemis huffed, his pride hurt; betrayed by his own love . . . for jeans. The t-shirt wasn't _that_ bad, Minerva could've chosen something else rather then the plain striped version Artemis now wore, but it still made his anger rise and fall.

Turning around, her face depict of any emotion, Juliet gave Artemis a one over.

She took in the shirt, white and black striped; more of a rugby shirt, the jeans, the regular blue, and the necklace, of the Caribbean variety.

"Well, knowing as I've never found him attractive, too pale, scrawny, and the diamond shaped head, as well as the whole if my brother dies god forbid I'll take over, he looks terrible. But he looks somewhat presentable looking normal. Doesn't stand out as much as Jamie would in jeans though."

Minerva, who was busy working on Artemis' hair, combing it down, heard the emotion within her voice. Artemis, taken aback by this openness, shocked. He just stood their, while Minerva wetted the comb and ran it through his hair.

"Juliet, how far away is Jamie?" asked Minerva.

Juliet contemplated for a minute, while Butler let his attention wander from the screen, and to his baby sister.

"Well . . . Peru, I think. Why?"

"Brazil really close to Peru,

"Do you want to see him? How long has it been?" asked Minerva.

"Haven't seen him for a few weeks, he's a doctors aid, he's helping one of the mountain Villages in the Andes."

Artemis was about to say a doctors aid was a nurse, but thought better of it.

"We can have you there by tonight, if you want to go. It's Valentines Day, Juliet, despite the cruel description of my head; I shall book you a flight if you so wish."

She thought over it, and Minerva knew the results without her even voicing the decision.

"Good for you, I'll help you pack," Minerva said excitedly, sitting down by Juliet. Her eyes, silently pleaded with Artemis for a few minutes.

Artemis, fuming over his new attire, took out his laptop, to reserve Juliet her promised flight. Artemis, randomly had to admit, as he booked the flight ; even though he could read emotions from ones body, he didn't know how to counter them; two totally different skills. He was definitely not a social, and needed help in the relationship department; where he lacked in knowing how to solve emotions. He had often wandered whether he should involve Juliet on the debate. A woman's incite might be helpful, but that meant letting Juliet in on his intimate details. He didn't even want to ask his mother about it all.

His mind wandered, while Minerva packed Juliet's duffle, which in total took up a whole five minutes, which seemed to pass by like molasses. Her mind found Juliet's items most interesting. Most of them were weapons, and took just the strength to lug them to the duffle to reach the status of packed. A wide verity of knives, grenades, and bandages. Along with a few poison laced darts, a taser X3, wakizashi, and knuckles dusters, both jagged edged, along with about a million permits, cards, documents, and other legalities. And of course her trademark jade ring, which currently sat on a flat bed of velvet in a protective case. Not that it masked the smell of bleach, which were poured onto the ring after almost every fight to clean of the blood.

These were all placed in one duffle, and a second duffle was soon filled with Juliet's blouses, ao dai's, sweat pants as well as jeans, and a Kevlar vest.

"Ready?" questioned Minerva, her eyes glistening.

"As I'll ever be. Thanks, truly, everyone . . . Even you Butler." Juliet replied.

Artemis stood up from the desk, closing his laptop.

"They'll have your conformation at the front desk, it just printed, you leave at 2:00 p.m. More then enough time, then again you have all the weaponry . . . By any chance, machete?"

She smiled. "No, that's Butler's department . . ." and escaping the room, Juliet, renewed, made her way to the Airport; a roll of cash in her pocket, two duffels over her back, and a jade ring tied in her hair.

Now ready to set out on their journey, Artemis, Minerva in hand, headed for their tour of the Amazon. Normally, one would have to book a tour months before, but Artemis was able to get an exclusive tour package, with- well, his magical charm . . .

"I still can't believe the scenery. Magnificent Hunter, we must go more often."

Artemis took in the praise, as well as her magnificent hair.

"I could get used to it here, where they speak a mixture of Spanish and Portuguese is only a minor problem. It could be changed within the week for us. The climate, so warm and inviting. We could have our own house, and an airfield of our own, along with a family pet." She spat out the words like they where bullets, in rapid succession. Artemis started to become nervous. They were dangerously nearing the subject of family and home.

"Please don't rush into this again . . ."

"What's 'this?'" she asked, truly unknowing.

"Please don't rush into this home/family stuff. You promised we'd wait to talk about it for another few months," answered Artemis.

"Actually, Artemis, I think now's the perfect time to talk about it."

"No, Minerva-"

"Why? Do you not love me enough to talk about it?"

"Don't you respect me enough to follow your own words? You promised to wait," Artemis said accusingly.

"Yeah, yeah; that's over. We're talking about it, now . . ." Minerva demanded.

"No- I won't."

"Do you not love me, do you not want to marry me; do you even find me attractive?"

Without time to respond, Minerva continued on her rant.

"You don't want to marry me," she said, almost under her breath.

"I do, I just don't want to rush into things," supplied Artemis, "Just calm down, okay?"

"I, calm down. No way, Mr. I'll rule the world! You're the one who needs to calm down and run with the flow; you're the one who needs to understand."

"Minerva; can-"

"Goodbye Artemis; I'm calling my dad for a jet. Thanks for the tour."

And with that, Minerva escaped Artemis company.

Startled at the outburst, Artemis headed to his side of the suite, locking off the door which ran between the two rooms.

Butler looked up from his issue of Gun's & Ammo, a gunman's essential magazine.

"Something the matter, Artemis?" asked the manservant, as his quick attentive eyes noticed something missing, or rather someone.

"Where's Minerva?"

Yet Artemis did not answer, and Butler was left to patch things together. Artemis was walking slowly, his feet dragging; no purpose. Something never seen on the Irish teenager. Artemis' face carried the weight and aftermath of a conflict; eyes reddened, moments from breaking the river flow, stress signs at the edge of the eyes, and the hesitation within.

Something shocked the Irish teenager mere seconds before he entered the bathroom.

"What's the matter, Artemis?"

Artemis stopped, moments from entering the threshold of the bathroom. He looked at Butler momentarily.

Artemis didn't respond, he stepped across the threshold to the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Turning the nozzle of the shower onto warm, Artemis undressed, flinging his clothes into a small pile at the bass of the toilet; bathtowel at the ready. Standing under the steady stream of the shower not only cleaned off the mud from the rainforest, not to mention the sweat, it was calming.

The water pressure eased and massaged his tense back muscles, while the rest ran down his body, collecting at the drain, tinged with brown.

Shifting himself, Artemis redirected the stream, now at full warmth, at his head instead of his back and shoulders. Yet it was forever calming, he could stay within the solitude forever, yet when he exited, he'd once again be faced with the world.

Artemis knew he couldn't stay forever, his mind wandered even now to what lay ahead. He'd have to reconcile with Minerva, Artemis had to. He needed to come to grasp with the hardest Relationship telltales, the emotion from the other side, and overall; how to deal with it. He honestly did not know how to function in a relationship. Give him a space probe, and a control panel, he would know what to do, yet this was more then just complex, this was personal.

This was one of the main reasons he was hesitant when Minerva first proposed the idea; a date. He remembered it now:

. . . She still had golden locks, she wore a V neck t-shirt, of powder blue, with just a hint of Angelic nature. White trousers; smattered with paint from one of her numerous painting seasons. A gold locket clasped around her neck, with gold, dangling bands around her wrists . . .

_Snap out of it_, thought Artemis, shaking his head, water droplets shaking from his hair. _You are a mastermind, you can achieve any goal._ And with this realization, which he truly needed to find for himself, Artemis stopped the downpour. After drying off, Artemis grabbed for a robe; plain white, and securing it, he exited the bathroom.

Without waiting for Butler's words, Artemis started.

"I am truly sorry, old friend." He slipped his feet into slippers, not hotel ones, that would be just disgusting. "My actions unneeded. I accept your advice." And with that, he sat on the edge of the bed.

Butler, who still hadn't gotten used to the new gun law, which he'd just been reading, looked up. And with that, Artemis Fowl was given a lesson on relationships, by his manservant.

"So it's really that hard?" Artemis asked.

"It really is, though the reward is often worth the hardship. Right, rule one Artemis?"

"The girl is always right . . ." recited Artemis, from his notepad.

"And rule two?"

"Always put the seat cover down."

"Good, Master Artemis, now you are prepared."

"To save my relationship," said the Irish teenager with dramatic poise. And with that, Artemis exited his suite, and knocked on the door right to the left of his door.

A rumbling sound came through the door, and a voice rang, authoritative and true.

"What, Artemis." He was no longer the Hunter, or Art, or Arty, or Mr. Mastermind, he was less then sludge.

"I would like to state a formal apology, if only I could speak to you face to-"

The door opened an inch, and one of Minerva's sharp, attentive green flecked with gold eyes shone through the opening, right above a shiny brass chain.

"I'm listening . . ."

This was his only chance, and a spares array of sweat cropped up on his forehead.

"I am sorry for-"

"I heard you talk with Butler."

Artemis inwardly smiled.

"And don't you be smug; I'm not one of those girls from the movies. It doesn't flatter me that you took advice from Butler to save what we have. You need to prove them . . ." a smile spread across her face. "Tonight, the night is still young, hardly seven o'clock. Meet me at the Restaurant downstairs, the Meeting the Jaguar, in half an hour, don't be late!" and with that, she slammed the door.

Artemis, the false smile now bare from his face, for two reasons. First, it was false, no need for it anymore, and second; Artemis actually had to review something which was life-threatening.

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Continue to part two . . .


	2. Part Two

**A Valentines Day Special, Brazil**

**_~ Part Two ~_**

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Meeting the Jaguar, was an elegant and fun filled Restaurant. Table clothes, white; waiters, white uniform; carpet, white; chair covers, white. Everything within the room was white. The napkins, even the ceiling fans. A cool breeze swept the room, suddenly. Candles, flickered, and hair worn down by ladies was suddenly swept up. The room was a steady sixty-six or so degrees, and though lukewarm in Ireland, it was cold in Brazil. The fine dresses of people came in an assortment of colors, as well as the people who wore them. Mainly caramel skinned, or tanned, so you could see when Artemis came from his room, modeling a white tux, that everyone' eyes were suddenly drawn to him and his pale skin.

A glass clanked, and the silence broke; replaced with the usual sound which filled the Restaurant.

Artemis Fowl was given his pick of tables; choosing one which rested by the main attraction, the fountain in the middle of the room, he sat down into his seat. The walls, reached the ceiling, a wide space from the ground, with silken banners clothing them. They reached to the ceiling, a dome shape, with an early Spanish architecture. The high ceiling was muraled, depicting a jaguar on a path; stalking his prey. Around him, the landscape was covered with the Amazon's luscious foliage.

Taking his seat, Artemis gazed across the room; eyes intent and searching. His eyes, were not disappointed, when a few moments later, she arrived.

The silence was longer and more stretched then when Artemis had first descended. For all her elegance, the items of clothing Minerva had picked were quite informal.

Her mini-skirt was covered with rhinestones, which spread the purple fabric; lined with black trim. Her shirt, a tank top, was purple; which complemented her charm necklace. Her feet, were clad in sandals.

"How are you, this night, Artemis?" Minerva questioned as her chair was drawn back by a waiter, and at her consent seating her across from the only sixteen-year-old in a nineteen-year-olds body; not to mention a white tuxedo.

"I've been better."

"Oh, that's a shame," started Minerva, "So, whats on the menu . . ." she asked the waiter, who she gave a one-over, for Artemis' sake more for her own.

"The house will give you several different choices; in a way its like a buffet, if you will. There are different types though. Seafood, Vegetarian, or meat. We'll bring different platters of side dishes, and your table will receive a basket of _Pão de Queijo__, _You'll be able to choose you pick of the Seafood, Vegitarian, or meat dishes available. It's truly a new experience for any tourist in Brazil," he offered.

"Well," Minerva said after a moment, "I'll go with the seafood."

"As will I," announced Artemis, "As well as a bottle of Verdelho."

With an approving nod, the waiter left to deliver their order.

After some nervous conversation, their meals arrived, and the rich aroma of their food fueled their apatite and brought them out of their awkward stage.

After being poured a glass of the wine they had chosen, the Verdelho; the pair drank leisurely.

More witty banter, good conversation starters, and even more complements to the chef, led the couple soon to the desert menu.

After indulging themselves with the_ b__rigadeiros, _along with a cup of coffee, the pair descended to a balcony overlooking the city. Lightpoles, placed at street corners, lit the streets; though those who wished to travel at night?

"So, did I pass?" asked Artemis after an antagonizing few seconds of thoughtful silence. Minerva seemed to ponder for a moment, in which her face was covered with confusion.

"Oh, that. I'd forgotten. It truly was a once in a lifetime experience in their. . . Yes, you have," Minerva said, as a last assurance.

Artemis, wished anything in the world to be able to sigh, but thought better to do so inwardly and not out loud.

"Did you think I'd be mad at you forever?" she asked, as she leaned forward, over the ledge of the balcony. At this height, the average person would've feared the space between themselves and the ground, but Minerva was more adventuresses then any average person.

Her question still hung in the air, starting the silence fueling an unspoken anger.

"I just thought that-"

"You know something; Artemis, you don't know what I'm saying," but before he could defend himself, she went on. "I don't mean my speech, I mean what I hint at."

Artemis was wondering how he could read what she hinted at, when Minerva quickly stepped backward from the balcony.

"Just kiss me, Artemis. Really for a smart guy you don't-" A kiss to the lips quieted here.

"Better?" asked Artemis; filled with nervous energy from their kiss.

"Not quite . . ." replied Minerva, locking lips passionately once more with her Hunter . . .

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Review for their relationship to stand- or fall. Express you thoughts on why you do or do not like Minerva/Artemis shippings. I, myself do not normally like to read them, for the main reason that their all the same; either sudden realization, or a few years into the relationship. Either way, feedback!

I'd like to thank two people, Karla and Lady Zarobiti.

Firstly, no, I'm not talking about Carla Frezetti. Karla is Brazilian, as well as a family friend, who helped me with their culture and spelling. I deeply appreciate your help with this!

And to Lady Zarobiti, the editor for this min-series; Zabs and I go way back, before I even had a FanFic account. Zabs is my sister, if that part wasn't obvious. (Anyone who remembers her, read her stuff, tell me so in a review, as well as your favorite writer of our family)

Sorry if this sounded like a Mary Sue, I tried to equal out the characteristics, though I think I ultimately failed at that.

Hope it was realistic enough; I wanted to have a different Minerva/Artemis shipping then others. I decided to add more of an adventuress mood to the story, and not something such as an intellectual type of thing.

I, have never had a fight with a girlfriend, as I am still young and do not have one. I pulled together a few of my favorite cheesy styled movie scenes which had relationship fights, and added a more serious manner to them; hope it worked.

Currently under revision, my pen name. It most likely will be Kalen Bloodstone, but at the moment I'm unsure. Though the pen name will change, you should still get the e-mail, just don't get freaked out when it's a different name. Series names will be the same.

Also written this Valentines Day:

Kate Daniels, Julie, a Goth's Valentine: One-shot: The premiere of my Kate Daniels work; the title pretty much sums it up. ~ Rated: T, for slight adult themes and Gothic structure ~

Misc Books, Musings: Poetry . . . My minds work at a new task; let me explain. I'm a Writer, not a Poet; yet this is a trick I need to teach myself, it's worth a look at the very least. ~ Rated: K+ ~ Addition titled "Carefree."

~ Kalen Bloodstone ~


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